May 20, 2008

12 days before departing the states for South Africa. How many things are on the mind? Countless...
Do I feel like I’m going to die? No, I have minimal feelings of nervousness or fear, just anxiety and anticipation. It’s been hard being home for so long but visiting grandma and papa in Visalia, CA for a week really helped to break things up. A month and a half is a long time to wait between the hype of Lubbock and the field where application is so necessary. At the same time it has heightened my awareness of how much of a mission field “home” is. Everywhere is something, and nowhere is not a mission field. I’ve stopped praying for opportunity and am more emphatic about having eyes to see and boldness to take action when opportunities arise. The only way someone would not have an opportunity is if they didn’t come in contact with another human being at all. But I know that God is really testing me with how firmly I trust Him. Now I realize that God doesn’t directly test but He’s put situations in place that challenge how I think (especially mental discipline) and what I’m going to do about it. Wisdom... something that I pray for everyday and only through God and experience can attain! Without wisdom I’m just an existing piece of stale matter.

Father,
I have so much to ask for but now I want to thank You. If it weren’t for You I wouldn’t have the opportunity to serve You in South Africa. My family. For my family: they’re on my heart so much. I sometimes forget about them but when I do think about them I’m so proud. My only wonderful sister. I’m always boasting about Andrew and Jonathan, Benjamin and his family. Thank you for bringing me up in a Christian home. Help me and guide me with words to say and situations to mold me so that I can be an encouragement and an edification to each of my siblings and parents. I don’t deserve anything, but You’ve given me everything. Thank you Lord. Give me patience, wisdom, and all humility. I love You and praise you with my life. All glory and honor be to You forever! Shalom...amen.